Anyway I have reacted badly by bringing up conflict then not staying to resolve it. I’m in my 40’s and am self destructing I have been a walking depressive, started a new job, got spoken to inappropriately and did try and address it which was denied this was always done on a one to one basis so no witnesses. I’ve had really strong self destructive behaviours which for the first time in many years I am finally overcoming. I purchased their 3 books on Kindle for a total of about $50.00. #DONT SLEEP OUT OF SELF HATRED HOW TO#They actually teach you how to be the scientist you need to be and find your own ways of changing that work for you. #DONT SLEEP OUT OF SELF HATRED SERIES#There is a great series of books called Change Anything. I lost the ability to know what it means to live with good habits, or maybe I’ve lived and worked around people who were as trashed as I was and who supported my own destructive behaviour. Sure I may be hurting, self sabortaging etc but what they were not telling me was that over the years of living in that way, my brain has strengthened the bad habits and I lost sight of what it actually means to live according to my own self interest. I realised they don’t actually have a clue. Also after spending years listening to do-gooders telling me how I must be self sabotaging, hurting etc. I am also struck just by how little practical advice there actually is for people that need to overcome self destructive behaviours. It is not an easy road to walk, but it is always well worth it in the end It takes a lot of courage to send in a question like this one I hope you continue and take the next step of calling a qualified therapist who can help you understand why you’ve made the choices you have and who can journey with you as you decide how you will live from this point forward. Even though you may feel very out of control right now, may I encourage you with the idea that you can always choose a different path and, therefore, a different outcome. It is really difficult to pinpoint an exact cause without knowing more about your situation, but I would venture to say that you are unhappy and frustrated with how you’ve been living and may be reaching a point where you’re ready to make some changes. Perhaps you are afraid of closeness and intimacy and use these behaviors as a way to keep yourself distanced from others. Perhaps you feel unworthy of love, success, and happiness, and act in ways to reaffirm that belief. Often, when I see people who are acting out in self-destructive ways it is an unconscious way of self-sabotage. I wonder if you would be willing to look at your behavior not as something that is “wrong” but rather as an indication that you are hurting and this behavior is letting you know. I was struck by your statement “What’s wrong with me?” because I don’t necessarily see anything “wrong” with you. This response will not give you all the answers you might be seeking, but hopefully it will shed some light on what to do next. I imagine that you are also grappling with some feelings of guilt and shame. What's wrong with me? What's compelling me to shoot myself in the foot, so to speak, in every area of my life? What if I can't change? What if I don't want to? -Self-Destructingįeeling like you’re compelled to self-destruct is a very scary place to be you probably feel out of control and scared about what might come next or the consequences of the behaviors you’ve described. And to top it all off, now I'm having risky sex-the riskier it is, the more I seem to desire it. I've also pretty much killed my career I went from making $80,000 a year to $30,000 in five years after getting fired from the best job I ever had for treating my colleagues disrespectfully. Six years ago I had the best girlfriend a guy could ever hope for-the BEST-and I threw it away, always thinking the grass could be greener and not appreciating the vast swath of green that was before me. I'm not sure how you can help, but I feel like I've made one self-destructive decision after another in life, and I don't know how to end the cycle. How to Send Appointment Reminders that Work.Rules and Ethics of Online Therapy for Therapists. #DONT SLEEP OUT OF SELF HATRED SOFTWARE#
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